I decided to start this blog as an online diary of my experiences in the outdoors as well as my internal struggles which keep me, from quite simply being, the best me.
This blog starts rather somberly. On Valentines Day, I was dumped. By someone who, I thought was going to be close, who I thought I could share outdoor experiences with and have a lot of happiness with...
Let's start at the very beginning... Who am I? I am little A. I am a nerd, not particularly athletic, but not particularly un-athletic either. My body is short and stocky, but not over weight according to my Doctor. When I was young, I loved to swim! Swimming at the pool was my most favorite thing. My mom and I would have so much fun! I remember being courageous and standing on top of the high diving board, in the deep end, and never feeling queesy about taking the plunge. I was only six!
I started swimming on a team when I was eight. But, somehow, all of the fun went away with the competition. I still loved to swim, loved the workouts and loved being strong. But, when the meets came around, it just wasn't fun. I always placed right in the middle of age group; never being particularly fast or winning a lot of medals. But, somehow, I got it stuck in my head that I just wasn't good at it. I was always comparing my self to others. Why wasn't I making a certain time? And then soon after, I decided that swimming wasn't fun any more. Why? When a child is young, they are looking for acceptance by their peers. All of the kids that got good times, had lots of friends and attention. They were accepted, and I was not.
